coming sooon..

well..another time wasted woke-up-late 'morning'..
how to really get everything restarted..cnt figure it out..
i guess wake up earlier in the day shd hv some contribution..

old time blog posts..soooo childish..haha
bt i won't delete it as tat's how my life flows..
i mean, why should we 'derecognise' it..
silly, mean, BUT STILL it's mine..

Been into quite a range of interests and hobbies,
guess there's nothing really suit me as Im always so greedy to try it all..

always wanted to signup in tumblr so i could get more ideas..
but not now seriously..will really get addicted to it easily..
once attached, it's hard to be detached..


For now, EXAM>>..no more hobbies..i know i know..stop grumbling..


will be updating most of them after the f***ing exam..
long list waiting fr me to get it done..



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i knew it's just not something..
or should i say it just doesn't looks like something to u..
i feel that i'm acting like a moron in front of u..
i tot i can show you wt i have n maybe i get a lil over excited on it.

turned my head around n thr's you, resting or taking a short nap thr..
wt the hell..tat's my happiness in ur eyes..
wt a demotivating night..
i jz wn to share my happiness..
guess i shdnt told u abt it..
rather keep it to myself nex time..only if there's nex time

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ebbing life..

not really in lucky mode these few months..
applied jobs at the wrong timing..
failed my exam..
i know it's disappointing..
fren's and relatives thk Im lazy to work..

suddenly all of the plans went wrong 
and here it goes, messed up..
trying to figure out wt's the prob..
trying to find a suitable stand point..

thought i could give up films and music..like I should..
but nop..it's nt tat easy.. 
       and how could I wandering at the bottom of my life, without the companion of them..

started to feel the pressure in everything..
couldn't behave in the comfortable level that I should..
and i started to wonder..am I really afraid to go out and work after sitting at home for too long??
if so,
   how should it be solved..??


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everything keeps flowing in my head..

when you love to lick ppl..

when you slp with leg wide opened..

when you always snatch ur bro's food..

when you run to us by the time we get home..

who would know u jz come to this world fr 10 mths..

frm the tiniest.. to the fattest..

i'll nvr frgt wt i heard this morning..

really don't wanna believe that this is true..keep calling you but why you ignore us..

i know u struggled hard last nite..sry fr nt being thr for you..

i still rmb last nite when i got home..u jump into my car..greeting me..

nvr expect that's the last time i touched you..

without you, who will wait for me by the road when i get home at late nite..

who will come and kepo when we're gardening..

sorry fr never take photo with you..

i jz realised that i don't even have a nice picture with you..

always wanted to take, but i never did it..

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the loyal one..

I duno whr you come from..but since you come to us..

we're fated to love you..

you've been so loyal & patient..

still rmb ytd noon..i catches the flea for you..

and this morning..i din even get to see you anymore..

not even dead body..

how could you left your baby alone..

did you know that he's shivering?

maybe he's the lucky one to survive..

but he lost his sister & mother at that cruel night..

I wanted to say rest in peace..
but it's not peaceful at all when you died with opened eyes..

next time, try to be a human, killed those that I believed thy'll turn to dogs..
Love you all..

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College moment..

flipping thru the photos..

even saving it one by one..

will be an amazing experience

as i know, I still hv the memories.

even though fren may not be around anymore.

time may not come bac anymore.

experience may not be the same anymore.

perhaps life like this,

only memories that left.

as people grow, time goes.

songs and laughter are the most precious that left for us..

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where do i belong...

seriously im gonna explode if these continue..
i mean, wtf in this world y everyone around was trying to give me a hard time..

Mum, what are u doin by having red eyes aftr crying..
it is worth to do so?
i hate when i see it n seriously no one gonna heed it..
go on n live ur life..
u dn hv to treat it by heart n mk urself suffer since he din even care..

Dad, wtf are u trying to show with ur face..I dun care if u are in bad mood with mum jz dn get it affect everyone in the hs..
u mk me wanna leave this hs..
n stop creating prob, even if u din contribute anything except money..
at least dn create prob n mess..

y she thk im the selfish one while all of them are doin the selfish stuff..
who would care enough for this house?
everytm trouble happen, he's the 1st one to run away..
NOT ME!

Evelyn,
i jz wanna prepare fr my exam peacefully,
few more days to go only, y cnt u do ur own thing..
Or rest..
dn said i hv time to do other stuff or wt..i jz wanna do my thing, what i wanna do
even if u din txt me, or text me less often, bt the way u talk jz dn mk it feel gd..
the 1st msg signifies the start of war d..
i know we had a lot of prob,
bt fr nw,, can u jz pause everythng..
im very very tired..
whn u in kl stdy, u also gt thing to complain,
whn u bac holiday, another thing again..
i really wanna move to a silent place..

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Everything changed..a lot more than i expected..
shd have realized everythng cnt be rewind..
she acted normal..very normal..i feel warm to have her react so lk a good fren...
but i know it's difference..nt lk we used to be..
im getting more n more invisible in front of them..
no matter how hard i try..
the lame one will be better than me..outstanding than me..

all of these make me realized that i should leave everything behind and walk on..
and money works fine for everything..
look at how he spend on her..
money can make him looks so elegance..
money can buy respect from people..
money makes you visible..
friendship is all fake without you looking cool
suddenly sincerity looks so weak compared with money..

He said im ego..
is it?
but no one know what's happening more than i know..
so he cant judge it

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